The Relational: November 2020
Part newsletter, part moment with Jax.
Hellooo you! I am grateful you are here. I invite you to take a moment to notice your breathing. Is it coming from your chest? Can you imagine a string gently raising your whole upper body towards the sky? Now, try breathing from your belly. How about letting your mouth open slightly to relax your jaw. Now, try dropping your shoulders away from your ears. close your eyes and take three deep belly breaths, now.
Welcome to this space. Every month (ish) I write a short introductory blurb about relationality, depending on what I’ve been sitting with in the past month and then I share fascinating things that’ve come into my orbit. Here’s November. It’s been a while, so this one’s on the longer side.
Humans are relational. All life is relational. By the nature of our existence, we are irrevocably entangled with all life. Bayo Akomolafe, a poet, philosopher, and professor, reminds us that we are not a cohesive, boundaried self–we are always in exchange with other organisms and other forces beyond our perceptibility. We are constantly in mutual exchange with bacteria, chairs, pigments, the weather, etc. Luana Morales , a friend and teacher, has reminded me many times that we breathe symbiotically with trees. We are inter- and intra-dependent beings. We affect and are being affected, always. So next time you feel at odds with yourself, remember that you are actually a we.
OK. Onwards we go. Here are some guiding lights helping me/WE grow relational consciousness.
Getting Unstuck Relationally:
If you don’t already know about Esther Perel’s podcast, Where Should We Begin, you need to. Esther is an engaging, sharp, and insightful marriage and family therapist who pushes listeners to challenge unconscious habits and preconceived notions that are present in our relationships. Each podcast episode invites listeners to an intimate therapy session with couples of all types-romantic, familial, etc.—to explore what is shaping this current relationship and how simply becoming conscious might allow us to begin to relate differently.
Bayo Akomolafe’s transmissions from the future are mind-blowing. Bayo was a guest on Sounds True Podcast. This episode gives a good introduction to his thinking, which is provocative, sometimes uncomfortable, and absolutely brilliant. Bayo’s words provide sanctuary for the parts of me (us) that spill over, are unruly, and that are wise beyond what ‘modern’ western culture can hold. If you feel moved to process after you listen, reach out. I’m actively letting these ideas reshape me right now.
Moving Forward the Relational:
Black Feminist Futures - is “a movement incubator that focuses on the dynamic possibilities of galvanizing the social and political power of Black feminisms as a blueprint for liberation”. My work’s focus on relationality, care, and connection would not be possible without the cartography of Black Feminists like Audre Lorde, June Jordan, Toni Morrison, Sylvia Wynters and others. Leading up to the 2020 presedential election Black Feminist Futures published Vote like a Black Feminist. They offer facilitation for movement building, and have a ~dreamy~ faculty (including Saidiya Hartman <3 ) leading their Black Feminist Organizing Schools. JOIN ME IN DONATING TO THEIR WORK!
Spirit of the Earth Carry Me Home is a project by birth and bereavement doula, Luana Morales. Luana’s offerings, from her full moon circles to her ancestral DNA cleansing, have moved something deep and ancient within me. Spirit of the Earth Carry Me Home project describes itself as “Community Supported Eco Friendly Coffins in Times of COVID”. Luana writes, “We will fill the vessel with all of the hugs we could not give, write the notes with the words we didn’t get to say…Where instead of fancy flower arrangements many of us can't afford right now, we cover our departed ones with flowers, inside the coffin, from our gardens and the supermarket”. Luana’s intervention is reclaiming death from exploitative industries and bringing it sweetly and fiercely back to its origins as an earth-based, community ritual.
Legion de Afecto describe their politic as a “politics of sentir – a politics of feeling“. Legion de Afecto acknowledges how social identities affect our experience of the world and in response, they choose to engage the communities they work with in body-based work. They “emphasize the bodily capacity to sense and feel as a point of social and political convergence for the country’s youth in the face of seemingly insoluble conflicts at multiple scales”. I’m paying attention to this work because Colombia has been in a civil war for the better part of the last six decades. It’s a country that has deeply felt the violent effects of polarizing ideological battles. The United States (who has instigated violence in Colombia…but that’s another conversation), with our own deeply polarized culture would do well to learn from the work activists, organizers, artists, healers, are doing all over Colombia. Legion de Afecto’s tagline is ver, oir, sentir (to see, to hear, to feel). They understand that when few things make sense, we must come back to the sensations of the body and take solace and find sanctuary in our shared ability to sense.
Conscious Living for a Complex Life:
Those who’ve followed my work know I’m a huge fan of Health at Every Size and Intuitive Eating. These are well-known and extensively studied frameworks that encourage a shift away from shame-based and restrictive forms of ‘wellness’ and a shift towards an intuitive and agency-filled relationship with food, the body, and body image. Intuitive eating focuses is on increased ability to feel, sit with, and be curious about internal cues and sensations. It’s also about radical love, the yummy and the hard of it. During Spring and Summer of 2020, I led an eight-week cohort called Body as Power, exploring some of these concepts (you can sign up for a special mailing list here to learn more about upcoming offerings). Below I share two resources that bring our attention to intuitive eating in Black and brown communities.
You can find more of Christyna’s work on her self-produced podcast.
With you in the mystery of it all.
Con paz, mucha paz, pero sobre todo, mucho, mucho amor,
Jax
p.s. If you’re not already signed up, you can subscribe at the bottom of my homepage.
